Death Cab at the DNC: John McCain Scares Chris Walla to Death
On the stereo: “Counting Down the Hours,” Ted Leo + Pharmacists Okay, here it goes:
I think John McCain is losing his marbles and that he can’t be trusted. I think that his hotheaded, impulsive mentality makes him an incredibly dangerous candidate for the office of President.
There, I said it. He has given to our country selflessly in uniform, risked his life for our freedoms and committed himself to a life of public service. And it’s time for him to fucking retire. Seriously. Like, I’ll totally buy the mai tais or piña coladas or whatever the fuck you want to drink, Senator. You name it, really; it’s on me.
Can I go further? I would like to, as I’ve just found out that McCain will likely be leaking his pick for VP right after tonight’s rally at the Mile High Stadium in Denver, where Barack Obama will officially accept my party’s nomination of him for the office of President. That’s MY party you’re gonna crash, you rat.
Now, there’s a long history of mudslinging and dirty pool in the race to the White House, and we’ve already seen a fair bit of it. But historically, each party’s convention week is off limits, to a degree: It’s diplomacy, a show of respect, to allow your opponent the spotlight for four days. Certainly there are ads and press releases from the rival team, but there’s no precedent for a headline-stealer like a VP announcement. Let’s refer, briefly, to a statement issued by McCain campaign manager Rick Davis on March 11, 2008:
“John McCain is now the presumptive nominee of the Republican Party. It is critical, as we prepare to face off with whomever the Democrats select as their nominee, that we all follow John’s lead and run a respectful campaign focused on the issues and values that are important to the American people.
Throughout the primary election we saw John McCain reject the type of politics that degrade our civics, and this will not change as he prepares to run head-to-head against the Democratic nominee.”
Really? So that makes McCain a total dick, too, in my estimation. Even if we give him the benefit of the doubt, and assume that it’s a classy move for him to hijack the narrative of the convention in Denver by announcing the winner of the veepstakes, how can we explain all the bullshit ads his campaign has been running? How does the Paris Hilton ad (the least offensive of the recent ones, in my opinion) constitute a “respectful campaign focused on the issues and values that are important to the American people”? It does not.
And those are just the official ads. John McCain is a guy who is tacitly endorsing (i.e. definitely not condemning) the American Issues Project, a 501c(4), by allowing them to run wild with an ad suggesting Obama is a terrorist by proxy, because he’s shaken the hand of Bill Ayers a few times. This is the same kind of smear that destroyed McCain’s own primary run in 2000 (a Karl Rove affiliated 527 ran an ad suggesting that John and Cindy’s adopted Bangladeshi daughter was, in fact, a love child, in case you don’t remember), and John Kerry’s run in 2004 (the infamous “swift boat” ads).
John Sidney McCain, I do not question your undying love for our country and your service to it. It goes without saying that our soldiers, all our brothers and sisters in uniform at home and overseas, are the glue holding this nation together. But please, stop being such a twit, and be true to your word. If you’d just provide some honesty, and be respectful of your opponent and show some dignity, I wouldn’t feel the need to be such an asshole about all this. But for the moment I don’t feel like I have much of a choice, because I love my country too. And you honestly scare me to death.
